to begin

Where to start? I need to write to stay alive (sounds dramatic but I am thinking of my emotional and spiritual 'life'), and this is as good a place as any. A central place to collect my thoughts and ponder over the greater meaning of life. Oh yeah, and also to get published before I am 30.

This doesn't exactly count, but it is good practise and I can try and write regularly I suppose.

I am 28, lacking a real direction and any real career path. I fall into jobs and careers, but not doing anything that particularly excites me. I just know how to work hard and to do a job properly, yay, my claim to fame.

I have a loving partner and stepson, and a very affectionate cat. I live in a beautiful country, have enough to eat, enough money to be relatively comfortable, and have family and friends who love me.

The problem is that I feel unfulfilled, and like a fake. Not that I am particularly false, but I feel like I am pretending to be an adult sometimes. It doesn't come naturally, and dammit I don't want to be responsible. I am a parent without ever having given birth, and that is a huge responsibility.

So the aim is to have a career that I love and that excites me, not a big ask I know......